Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

Rejection happens to all of us. Rejection hurts. It sucks! People want to belong and connect with others, but when they are rejected that creates a very unpleasant experience. The fear of rejection can keep us from taking risks that can lead to achieving our goals.

But remember, you’re not alone. Many people would prefer to die than being rejected. They can become depressed or sad and, as a result, such feelings might lead to a lot of unfortunate events in different parts of our society. If you want to overcome your fear of rejection, you need to understand that this is a pretty universal experience. 

What can cause rejection?

The causes of rejection can be small or big and they depend on the individual’s scale of values. What is a small thing for me can be a big thing for you and vice versa. Rejection can happen in different situations like personal relationships, academics, business or job related, and today’s millennials favorite… social media. Here, it’s very common for relationships to be born virtually, sometimes without close contact of any kind.

If you want to overcome your fear of rejection you need to analyze your reaction when such an event happens. The best way to modify your reactions is by studying yourself. This might be difficult and sometimes the opinion of a close friend or family can help describe if we are taking things too personally, or if we are overreacting to a given situation.

Also, rejection affects us in a way that is proportional to our level of self-confidence. If you are applying for a job and don’t get the call, it might mean a lot of things besides you not being qualified for the job. Maybe you were overqualified! Or maybe someone else beat you to the punch (timing). Every time you are rejected, you must remember your self worth, which will always match the right opportunity, at the right time. We cannot expect to have a perfect record and never be rejected. That would be like expecting a baseball player to bat a thousand or a basketball player to score every shot or free throw. The right opportunity will meet the right preparation at the right time, given the right circumstances.

It’s just an opinion!

When trying to overcome your fear of rejection remember this: rejection is just an opinion, not a fact.

Rejection is just an opinion, not a fact

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now… let’s get to work!!!

What is the underlying cause of your fear of rejection?

If you are afraid of romantic relations because you don’t want to feel lonely, you need to accept that, because that will give you something to work with. Then, you can work on finding the right strategy to widen your network of contacts, both professionally and personally. The more friends and colleagues you have, the less you will feel left out or passed on. More opportunities will show up for you, although there’s also more risk implied. Remember, if you want to overcome your fear of rejection, you need to face such fear. Without taking chances, nothing will happen. You will miss all the shots you don’t take!

And when it comes to handling rejections, you can be either your own best friend or worst enemy. Sometimes in order to get over the hurdles ahead you need to get out of your own way. Replacing negative self-talk with a positive mindset requires us to ignore the six year old inner child that keeps nagging us and preventing us from reaching our potential. Here’s where you need to reach out to your support network, no matter how small that is, to find encouragement and accountability to make the right decisions and take actions oriented towards designing a path of success. If you don’t have a support network, that is the first priority in your transformation journey.

Help is available

Sometimes the help you need can come from a mentor or coach, who will help you see the qualities you possess and then will guide you and work with you giving you valuable advice that will allow you to discover your passion and how to use your talents to conquer the obstacles ahead. Your coach will help you in the tough times and the good times, helping you keep your feet on the ground and your head in the game. But always remember, your path to success will not get forged overnight, it will take time, hard work and patience, but the reward will be amazing. The harder the challenge, the most satisfying the success will be!

The harder the challenge, the most satisfying the success will be

Do you see the glass half full or half empty? 

Your answer to the above question defines your mentality, and with the right mindset you will see a rejection as an opportunity instead of a problem. In my professional journey I set as a goal to have at least five job interviews every year. I apply to jobs that match my profile, but also to those for what I appear to be overqualified. The goal is to have the opportunity to plead my case to the hiring person, and to learn something out of each of them. Asking questions such as, “why is this position open?”, “what is the long term goal for this position?”, “what is your impression of my performance during this interview?”, “can you give me any advice to improve myself?”, allow me to understand the cause of rejection, if it happens, so I can work on my weaknesses.

When you are rejected, it’s OK to worry, as long as you also get to work.

Life is not fair, nor easy. Getting help is the best decision if you want to get better, and getting help while accepting your flaws is a brave thing to do. 

 

Alejandro Clavel is a Life and Career Coach. He specializes in Positive Mindset, helping people and businesses achieve their goals by providing tools and guidance to discover the limitless possibilities inside you! You can reach him by email at alejandro@alejandroclavel.com

 

 

 

 

Achieve your goals by keeping a positive mindset

Life is full of obstacles. We all face adversity. So, join the club! You’re not special or privileged to go thru life without any concerns. We all have issues that keep us in some degree of stress. We can’t control some of the things that happen to us in life, but we can control how we deal with them. So, if you want to achieve your goals, keeping a positive mind is really important. You owe it to yourself to release the power within and refuse to let such obstacles prevent you from becoming successful. There are a lot of examples of successful people who have faced struggles and at times they even wanted to give up.

You and I have been there, haven’t we?

By focusing on the opportunity instead of the obstacle, we can keep a positive mindset and produce great results, which not only benefit us, but also those around us, because we become an inspiration to them. Facing obstacles head on creates a strong mind, and those who we inspire can also apply our example and achieve their own dreams.

Getting help from a coach is an important step towards success. Coaching is a guiding journey where the coach helps the client to define powerful goals and then together lay the foundation to achieve them. It’s not about teaching, or applying a cookie-cutter approach, but instead is about empowering the client to take a good inside look and find the passion that will be the fuel to overcome any obstacles. And once the person learns how to break through obstacles, it becomes easy to reach those goals. The key is to have a plan.

Achieve your goals by keeping a positive mindset

The main reason for people to give up their goals is because they are not prepared to deal with the setbacks. They picture an ascendant straight line towards their dreams, and when the results are not what’s expected, the passion dies. Having realistic expectations includes planning for failures and their potential impact in the plan, which might have to be adjusted to help overcome the anxiety and frustration that comes with it.

No plan is perfect, but is better to have a faulty plan than having none. Reviewing our strategy requires a bold and honest view to continue doing what works and get rid of what doesn’t work. Here’s where the failures and the lessons learned become useful. It’s not about living in the past but using the experiences to prepare and conquer the future.

No plan is perfect, but is better to have a faulty plan than having none”

No plan is perfect, but is better to have a faulty plan than having none”

Success does not belong to the rich, or the highly educated. It belongs to those who make it a point to keep learning, keep trying, keep failing… and keep going… because after that is where success resides. You will achieve your goals by keeping a positive mindset and making your journey enjoyable.

Have a nice day!

 

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Five ways to use your weaknesses to your advantage

 

It’s an act of bravery to recognize our own weaknesses. And that is the first step towards changing one’s personal status quo, because instead of using such issues as excuses to justify the current outcomes, you can use your weaknesses to your advantage and find ways to transform them into steppingstones to improve and eventually reach a better state.

Here are five ways to use our flaws to our advantage and turn something negative into a positive.

  1. IT’S USUALLY NOT YOUR FAULT. Most of our weaknesses are related to either our upbringing or the circumstances around us. If we were not trained or educated on a given subject, chances are we will fail when faced with a similar situation. For example, if you are not into sports and out of shape, and then you need to climb a wall or run extremely fast, it will be too difficult to conquer such obstacle. If you want to change that, you can start by adding exercise to your daily routine. This will help you to be ready the next time that a similar situation occurs.

 

  1. YOU ARE LEARNING ABOUT YOURSELF. As mentioned above, accepting our weaknesses is a great start. You are learning about yourself and that helps you using this knowledge to make different decisions. Think of yourself as a work-in-progress. The more you learn about your weak spots, the busiest you will be improving, making changes, getting stronger. And such process will leave no time to whine and lament, bus instead you will be constantly carving your path of success.
Online businesses are the next best economy!

Online businesses are the next best economy!

  1. SHARE YOUR FLAWS. Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is to share our issues with other people. The idea that “it’s nobody else’s business” can work in detriment of our goals. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in front of others it releases the burden of keeping our feelings bottled up. If we don’t do it, we create a situation like a dam that is about to crack, and when it does… oh boy! There’s nothing wrong with showing our human side and use those lessons to move on with our lives. You will find that a lot of people relate to you and are ready to support you. Try it! When you share, that is a great way to use your weaknesses to your advantage.

 

  1. TAKE TIME TO PROCESS. Our defects can be the reason for depression, sadness, frustration, and other negative feelings. Sometimes trying to correct something that went bad due to our limitations requires time to overcome such negative feelings. When possible, use some time (minutes, hours or even days) to process your emotions. Let it all out! Allow yourself to drown in your sorrows and hit rock bottom… and then… after you took enough time… rise… all the way up! Be ready to use that experience to learn and become better. It’s all worth it. Make it count. Make it yours!

 

  1. KEEP TRACK OF YOUR CHALLENGES. Everybody loves a great comeback! We see it in the movies, and we love it when it’s based on a true story. You can do the same with your own story. Keeping track of the hurdles and obstacles you face every day, and recalling the steps you took to overcome them, will give you enough motivation to remember that you are capable of so much more than you thought you could do. Using our past to take smart decisions in the present is the foundation of a better future.
Use your weaknesses

Everybody loves a great comeback!

Recognizing and using our weaknesses is the baseline to define goals and turn those into strengths. Use your weaknesses to your advantage. It all starts with mindful recognition and acceptance.

 

Then, we take action and start rising… all the way up!

 

😎

 

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Dear Me!

[Talking to the mirror]

Dear Me, I hear You!

Your life hasn’t been easy, but you’re not the only one, there are millions of people all over the world who go thru situations even worse than yours!

You can’t control what life throws at you… but you can control your response to such circumstances.

If you don’t like the story of your life, you have two choices… either accept it, or change it.

It’s never too complicated… it is just as complicated as YOU want it to be!

The universe is not conspiring against you. You only need to focus on your blessings, not on your obstacles. When you leverage your own strengths, your power outgrows your pains, and you are capable to climb the highest mountains with the kind of energy and enthusiasm that you never imagined you had before.

If you focus on giving instead of receiving, you will reap so much happiness that will make you understand that life is worth enjoying, and your tribulations are merely steppingstones that help you grow and keep you humble.

Life is not fair.

What is fair is to be thankful for the opportunity to face our challenges head on and make the best out of life!

Life is precious, and unfortunately many people no longer can enjoy it. Your mission must be to take what life gives you and make a positive impact in the life of as many folks as you can. That is also a challenge, but it can produce such a great reward!

I hope that the next time we see each other you smile big time and share your blessings.

See you soon!

Three key elements to become successful

We all want to be successful. It’s totally normal because we all want to be better, regardless of our current circumstances. We all wish to be in a better situation.

Here are three key elements that we must focus on to become successful. They are education, relationships and coaching.

Education helps us to change our mindset, because when we learn we become smarter. When we read a book, when taking a course online or attending a class, we will generate more ideas. If we have a trade or ability that we have practiced for years, we can learn to turn that ability into a business that can give us a tremendous advantage over those who decide to do other non-productive things.

Now, let’s not forget that there will always be someone smarter than us, but there will also be someone who learn from you and will benefit from your experience. We don’t need to be the greatest expert in each topic or trade to create value towards other people. The important thing is to find those who have the same goal and interests that you have.

For example, if you know how to cultivate corn, I bet you can find a lot of people interested in that as well. On the other hand, there will be a lot of people who don’t care about that. Now, those who are interested in this topic will want to learn from you and to hear your experiences about corn crops. And just as they are learning from you, you need to keep learning from others. You need to stay in that continuous improvement cycle because we never stop learning, regardless if we are 5 years old, or 20 or 50 or 90 years old. We must always be learning.

I remember a situation where a very old man who loves to play the guitar was asked why he kept practicing 4 to 5 hours every day, when he was very proficient at playing that instrument. Now, he wasn’t born with that ability. He just put the time to practice and followed his passion. His answer to the question on why he kept practicing so much was: “I think I’m making progress”.

So, it doesn’t matter in what part of our lives we are, we always need to be getting better and better. And education is a powerful tool to become better every day.

The second component is relationships. The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. We become the average of the five people we hang out with. Our relationships can make us better or worse, because if we hang out with people with a negative mindset we will get infected by that. On the contrary, if we follow people or groups with a hard-working and positive mentality, we will raise to their level and will get better. If we try to make it alone, we might have some level of success, but the long lasting and sustainable entrepreneurship requires that we flock together with those of our same feathers. The goals will be similar, and the synergies and mutual support will deliver tremendous results.

Finally, the third key element in our journey towards success is to have a mentor or coach or guide, call it whatever you want. A coach is someone that helps us to figure out how to put together the pieces that will result in a business by using his experience. This accelerates the process and can give you the confidence that you have been lacking to make hard decisions. By following in the footsteps of a proven entrepreneur, your odds to be successful increase significantly. A lot of people who have achieved success always refer to someone else who helped them get clarity and support them in ways that were critical in their lives.

There you have them, the three key elements to achieve great success. First, education and continuous learning. Second, relationships, seeking to hang out with people with a learning and improvement mindset to help each other and to continue learning. And finally, never underestimate the power of having a mentor or coach who can help you accomplish your goals faster and with better results.

That’s all I have today my friend. I hope this was helpful and I wish you the best of success in all your projects.
Hasta la vista!

10 reasons to read daily

The amount of reading we do is directly proportional to the knowledge and the kind of mind we have and live by. There are scientific studies that suggest that our brain will not deteriorate in our late years if we keep learning new things frequently.

Here are 10 reasons to keep reading:

  1. The more you read, the more intelligent you become. In every book we can find new words or expressions that enhance our vocabulary. Applying those new words in the daily conversations helps our brain to create new connections between the neurons, reinforcing our brain health.
  2. You learn to focus and concentrate. It’s a challenge to read a book from cover to cover. Sometimes reading a chapter gives us a lot of value in our learning journey. The special time devoted to read can be very important, so focus… focus… focus…
  3. You can travel. Yes, reading makes your imagination fly and it transports you to remote places. This is the reason why many people state that reading a book was better than watching the respective movie. That’s because the visual image they created is the result of their own creativity and mindset towards the story in the book.
  4. You can improve your verbal abilities. By increasing your vocabulary, you can speak about the topics you read with fluency and with references to the source of the topic you talk about. If the topic is related to your job or other person situation, you will be able to drive the talk…
  5. It can be relaxing. Reading before going to bed can help you to transition smoothly into a good sleep. Also, if you read early in the morning before doing other kinds of information intake, it can be beneficial in your learning.
  6. It can make you interesting. When you’re know as an avid reader, people will want to talk with you. This turns into a positive cycle to keep gathering more knowledge by keep reading. It is a good problem to have!
  7. It boosts your memory. As opposed to watching videos or listening to audio books, engaging the eyes in this active interpretation of the text forces your brain to ingrain the knowledge in a more effective way. The attention needed for reading is higher and will produce better results.
  8. It’s entertaining. Reading about the themes you love will keep you busy while reaping all the benefits enlisted here. That increases you skills and make you a source of information for other people.
  9. It enhances your creativity. You can always improve what you learn. That applies to what you read. Like when reading this article, you have the power to make it better.
  10.  It makes you appreciative of the arts. You will likely pursue additional knowledge related to what you read in other venues, like museums, the internet or any event related to your passion.

I love reading. Here are some of the latest books I’ve read. I think you can find these interesting.

Happy reading!

 

5 Reasons Why You Should Start a Side Hustle

A lot of us hesitate when it comes to start a business on the side. The fear to fail, to not make money or to lose money always get in the way. Our inner 6-year old child is always telling us that we’re not enough, that we don’t have what it takes to be successful, or that other were born talented… WRONG!

In today’s world we cannot apply the mindset of those who lived in before us. With all due respect to our parents and grandparents, the times we live in are way too different from theirs, and if they did not adapt to the new reality then we should think twice about following their advice to the letter. And that includes our teachers, mentors, friends, colleagues or acquaintances.

Technology has reshaped the way business is done. And learning by doing is the best formula to decide is we want to start a new business venture.

Here are the reasons why you should start a side hustle online:

#1 – It’s easy. It’s incredible how simple and fast is to start creating content online. Writing blogs, posting videos, creating digital courses… there’s a million things you can choose from to decide the nice you want to focus on. It’s literally a few clicks away.

#2 – It’s free. You don’t “need money to make money” online. You just need to understand that it will not happen overnight, but after some time while constantly creating value, you will reap the benefits of this, and then you’ll realize that your initial investment (if any), it was nothing compared to the new kind of life you have now.

#3 – You can learn. Doing by learning is great. I have learned things like trading forex and stock options, affiliate marketing, product arbitrage, and all that by giving myself the chance to try it. And even though sometimes I have list as a result of my investment, the learning experience and the connection I’ve made along the way have been invaluable. Those lessons I have learned cannot be taken away from me by anybody.

#4 – Learn about yourself. Sometimes we learn things about ourselves that have been there the entire time. This can happen when we connect with other people who are pursuing goals that are like ours. Their input is a great way to validate our potential and let it transform into actions that can help us get going. Remember, to avoid falling from the bicycle we must keep moving forward.

#5 – Find your target market. If you’re at this stage, that means you’re sold on the idea of doing business online. Here you use all the learnings and the feedback from those who are consuming your content to find your ultimate customer… those who will be interested in products that you recommend or your own product.

So, there’s pretty much no investment when it comes to learning online business models.

It’s up to you to take action.

Let me know if you need any help. I’d appreciate connecting with you to increase my network and learn how I can create more value to you.

Have a marvilloso día!

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